When I first met my Spouse, there were trust issues.  We all have baggage.  (We were both in our 40s.)

On one of our first dates, he said to me:

“I feel that you have my back.”  And it was Meant and he seemed surprised by that admission. 

That was Huge.  That was Trust.

That set a bar for me – I have always been proud of being ethical, moral, loyal and truthful.  I saw in this statement, however, that he had not had that before.  It strengthened my resolve in who I had been my whole life and put more importance on it ~ suddenly it was not just for myself that I lived that way but that I also had a responsibility to live up to that standard for him.

I happily accepted the challenge.

It is said that men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

What a Load of Crap. We are all the same.  Trust and Truth are imperative.

They are Freeing.

Especially in the newer stages of a relationship.   (Friendship relationships fit in here too.)

So you say something that Does Not Land Well.  What that means is that there is a weird look on the other person’s face – could be doubt, anger, hesitant humour or that look that says ‘did you really just say that??’.

They look at you not knowing if it is funny, if they should be insulted or if they are supposed to respond.

Oh Oh …

This is where you flesh out not only your humor but who you are together and how you will relate to each other.

My honey and I have agreed to a catch phrase:

“What do you mean by that???????”

Yes, all the question marks are needed.

I can’t put in the tone here, but it needs to be said with one eyebrow lifted and a smile.  (Goofy smile is best)

The go-to here is that you go for the humour – don’t assume the negative – allow the option that it was meant in a good way.

Give the person who said the weird comment to give the context.  Often that is all that is needed and a laugh ensues.

To reiterate, the goal here is not to assume the negative, but the positive ~ always the positive as the go-to.

I really believe that, deep down, we believe in people ~ in truth, in honesty and in trust.

Go with that.